good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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