smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
