There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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