i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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