two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My cat gives me a boner
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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