Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
