And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
