to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
