super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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