would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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