Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You can't motorboat a personality
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
