Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize