She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
