he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
