You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
