Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
