no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
