I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
