It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
