Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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