Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
