I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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