Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Blood and glitter go together right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Watching her eat just hurts me
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
