who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
