I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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