To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
