My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
