she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
