i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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