I want to make a zoo with you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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