They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
