So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
