Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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