check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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