you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
