We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
