Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
