This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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