): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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