He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize