so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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