We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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