You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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