when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
