the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
