let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
