Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
