Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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