i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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