his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
