No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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