Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
