You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she told me i tasted like america
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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