Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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