508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
