Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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