Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
