Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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