I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
