...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All the doctor said was why
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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