I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
