so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize