oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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