Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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